Taking care of ME.
Welcome to my new little spot on the internet, A fresh new start.
Its been a tough few years since I last blogged and even then it wasn't photography related but on the struggles my family and I faced in getting our autistic boys the right diagnosis, help and best possible school environments we could. I do finally believe we are all headed in the right direction now after years of hard work, fighting and struggles, so its time to get back to finding myself and finding my voice through my art, through my photography.
Photography is not just my passion though, along with my boys and family, it is my lifeline. Its helps to keep my mind positive and allows me to express how I see the world around me. Its a release, one that I have missed.
I decided for my first post I would share a poignant image from my recent work that came about after an incredibly difficult time recently which resulted in finally (after years of denial) admitting that I was not okay.. but that, I was GOING TO BE OKAY.. with a little help. With the positive reinforcement and encouragement from friends I took the decision to help myself for once. I have fought so hard for my children, their rights and their needs that I neglected to take care of me.
You can not be the best parent you are capable of, when you don't take care of yourself too. I stand by that whole heartedly.
After being diagnosed with depression and anxiety I decided one morning to stop making excuses and pick up my camera... My love for it was still there, it had just been clouded recently. Today two weeks later I found I don't want to put my camera down, my mind is still clouded of course and in the best description I can think of it still feels 'foggy', sometimes its too noisy that everything else is drowned out with worries and fears making you feel perhaps a little lost.. but I am working on it and taking everything at a pace where I feel is comfortable.
I shared this image on Facebook with a briefer description than above but feel a step for improvement is to be openly honest and so this the start of me finding me again.
A positive day.. in amongst many darker days.
"Taking care of me"
"Depression is not having the motivation to do something you love" ~ Unknown
There is a lot of stigma attached to depression and anxiety but on the face of it one in three people suffer/struggle with depression.
It doesn't discriminate.
I won't be defined by my illness but I will embrace it and learn to manage it.
I got this.
So I hope you all come to enjoy spending time with me here, I shall be using this space to share my images, my stories and parts of my life. The positives and the negatives.. ~ Ellie